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How to improve confidence (3/3)
The previous two posts looked at how prevalent confidence problems are, what we really mean by "not having any confidence" and what the ingredients of it are. In this post I will build on these concepts look at how to overcome confidence problems.
Let's begin by acknowledging that the way we are often told to deal with low confidence can be a real struggle and often don't work. I'm referring here to positive thinking and affirmations. Now I would agree that given the choice between negative thinking and positive thinking why choose the negative? After all it can increase stress levels and ultimately lead to depression, not to mention the effect on behaviour and even the body itself. However making the choice to think positively instead is an uphill battle if there are negative beliefs in place blocking the path.
The good news is that in 20 years of working with clients who have low self esteem I have discovered those methods that do work. Not one method is effective 100% of the time but by having a choice it is possible to select the best method available.
The first is hypnotherapy. There are many different techniques and approaches within hypnotherapy. The most basic is suggestion therapy, which is a somewhat similar approach to using affirmations, but in a very relaxed state. This approach has some degree of success, but the more sophisticated techniques within hypnotherapy usually prove more effective. An example would be 'parts work' where the for example a person may feel useless and ashamed of themselves but on the other hand they recognise that they do have some value. Many people have some kind of inner conflict and within hypnotherapy the parts work technique enables you to communicate at a deep level with the part that has the negative beliefs and negotiate a change. Yes I did say 'negotiate', as this kind of hypnotherapy enables two way discussion and reaching an agreement to change.
The second method is NLP (neuro-linguistic programming). Within NLP there are a host of techniques to change emotional state as well as let go of negative beliefs. These NLP techniques can be easily learnt and include, re-imprinting, anchoring, and submodality change techniques.
The third and newer techniques come from the field on 'energy psychology'. These are remarkably effective and therefore I use them frequently with my clients. They are based on the theory that what leads to negative feelings and beliefs is a disruption in the energy system. By clearing such disruption a person thinks and feels more positively. The best know of these techniques is EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) which involves tapping on pressure point with the fingers to influence the energy meridian system and balance it. Another energy technique is TAT (Tapas Acupressure technique) which can be helpful as well.
Last updated: 17 July 2009