Peter Delves Blog.
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Don't just 'manage' the anger!
I sometimes wonder about what people really mean by 'anger management'. The term implies controlling anger that exists rather than preventing it from occurring in the first place. There seems to be a lot of anger around these days and therefore the need for anger management courses, classes or training. However my preference is to work one-to-one with people so that they find themselves no longer affected by the situations that once caused anger or rage.
Our approach goes beyond anger counselling in that we don't just talk about the problem but use techniques which enable the mind and emotions to remain calm in those situations when being angry would be counterproductive.
There are usually certain triggers which detonate the uncontrollable anger, and in relationships it can be very destructive; whether that be personal relationships or work relationships. It can also lead to aggression and bullying, even though the person may be very remorseful afterwards. Unless it is dealt with the problem just loops around again.
If anger can be so destructive why does the body produce it? Like all emotions there is a 'positive intention' behind it. Anger enables us to express very strongly that someone has violated a standard that we hold, and it prevents us from being walked all over. That's all very well, but people with anger management problems find themselves getting out of control with anger when the situation doesn't merit it or is trivial. Often this is because they have built up a store of anger over the years which is then activated at the slightest trigger. Hence the looping around effect as if it's trying to find an exit.
Mind and body are not meant to store anger in this way so using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) or hypnotherapy I can help a person to disperse the anger in a comfortable way and restore balance and calm. If you have a problem with anger management then feel free to contact me to see if I can be of help.
Last updated: 29 July 2009